I've only just been reminded this exists. So I'm going to take the opportunity to rant about my shitty feelings. I have an attention span of about two seconds, so even though I really want to be drawing right now, I just can't focus. I also can't express ideas right. Nothing looks right.

More annoying right now is how socially inept I am. I can't talk to people at the best of times, let alone when someone is really down. First of all, I don't understand relationships, so I can't relate AT ALL to somebody breaking up with someone else and then becoming suicidal. Secondly, even if I felt I could make up some words of encouragement, I wouldn't say them because of how it makes ME feel when people offer false words of comfort. It makes you want to rip teddy bears up and rail at their face. Is all I can do is put sad faces over and over again, and say how I want them to live. When in my heart, I don't feel all that strongly about the issue. I fail to understand how someone can be so cut up about it, and the person.. doesn't mean that much to me at the end of the day. I'm sure the feeling is mutual, but it makes me feel heartless anyway.

I woke up with 'When the Tigers Broke Free' in my head this morning. Interesting, I haven't heard it in a while. It was nice to be able to listen to it, though it nearly made me cry. I wish my inner monologue would quiet down sometimes, because it gets in the way of trying to concentrate.

I find it amusing in a not-amusing-at-all kind of way that the closest thing to a true friend I have at the moment is one who I've been forbidden to contact because they're "bad for me". It's just nice to have somebody to talk to who you know so well, and have so many memories with. Regardless of how bad they've hurt you, or how dangerous you feel they are under the surface... or the disturbing things they say to you once in a while. It's just nice, that's all. And I wish those around me would understand that for once.

They have no idea what it's like. We all have our own battles and hardships, and we can't understand another person's situation. Maybe that's just me, though.

This has helped slightly. But  I'm going to write some nonsense later.. I think. Maybe. I probably won't, let's face it. But I definately think it would help.
Now to do a little drawing...
that always helps.

No Thorneywood until next Monday, and by then, I know I'll forget everything I'm thinking and feeling, and that I'll forget what happened on Friday as well. Hoping my mother remembers that.

Sigh.
Oh, Mr Truong left. I was quite sad at that. He was a friendly guy. I like friendly people.